Enough with my measured, careful claims about tea and its benefits.
Why should you drink tea?
Immortality of course. If you drink tea, especially good tea, you'll live forever.
No death. Minimal disease. You'll be invited to all the best parties. Can I prove it? Nope. Do I have any empirical evidence? Evidence schmevidance.
You'll live forever. Basta.
Smile. Enjoy yourself. It's going to be a long one.
(Warning: the claims made in this blogpost are not remotely based on fact or any connection to reality whatsoever. That doesn't necessarily mean they're not true)