Monday, 5 September 2011

my shingle's been hung

Read an article in a spa magazine recently that went through the different types of tea and explained the differences between them.  For the 4 types of tea mentioned (I know there are to the spa magazine people, will you?), there's a column in which is answered:

Good for you because

Reach for it

It tastes

I could easily go through and talk about the very practical information that was imparted by the article, but  I've decided not to do that.  There are plenty of places you could go for exactly this sort of thing.  Most days I'd be more than eager to delve deep into it.  But not today.

Today, I've resolved to do two different things.  One is to hang out my shingle and offer a therapeutic service regarding tea.  What tea fits your particular situation/emergency?  This is a shameless attempt to deal with the second thing.

In the past, I've had tons of discussion here on my blog.  I continue to get more over on my mirrored blog (lahikmajoedrinkstea) at Tea Trade (their main site), but I really like a bit of lively back and forth at both places.  So here's my shameless attempt to get some of you who like to come here and gawk to actually speak up.

Everyone loves an advice column.  Ok, not everyone.  Most people like advice columns.  As a result, I'm offering to answer non tea-related catastrophe with very tea-related solutions.  Either in the comments themselves or in an additional blogpost, I'll hopelessly and even recklessly make your problems a thing of the distant past.

And to kick it all off I've decided to answer a question I've received from Larry in Dayton, Ohio.  Let's hear it Larry.

Larry in Dayton:

Yeah, uh...ok.  See, I really hate my brother-in-law.  I hate him so much I want to kill him.  So my question is What sort of tea is best for me to deal with that?

My answer:

Oh gosh.  Ok Larry in Dayton.  Not a very light-hearted question to kick this off, is it?  But I promised I'd do my best.

I'm going to assume you don't want a tea to help you get up the nerve to actually off the guy, right?  I can't do that.  That'd be unconscionable.  (*whispers* Assam by the way...a dark, strong, malty Assam)

No, I'll just take it for granted you want a tea that'll help you calm down and not go through with these murderous thoughts.  So my gut feeling is that you need a good strong Oolong.  And not one of those lightly-oxidised sorts of Oolong.  I'd go with a nice flavourful Choice Formosa Oolong.  This tea won't let you down.

It's Good for you won't be committing murder.  You can enjoy your freedom and actually choose when and where you go and what you can do.

Reach for it...Brew some up any time of the day, but especially right before you're forced to have any contact with this brother-in-law of yours.  I'm sure it'll do the trick.

It tastes...nothing like a black tea, but packs a strong full punch.  It's got something nutty and earthy about it.  There's even a hint of caramel.

You're probably feeling an undeniable sense of peace now that you've followed my simple instructions Larry in Dayton.  Enjoy this photo from a balcony looking out over the Mediterranean.

After that expert advice above, I'm sure the questions will now come flooding in.  My proverbial shingle has been hung and I'm awaiting your queries.


  1. I've got a bit of a thing for objects with motors. I like to mow my lawn, and I often end up somewhat petrol-scented and really dying for a cup of tea. What can compete with 95 octane fuel and slake my thirst as I admire my smooth lawn?

  2. Excellent question Joanna,

    An aged Pu-erh will do the trick. The nice thing here is that you can steep it multiple times. It only gets better & better.

  3. Thank you :) i will do so this weekend. Spring rains have wncouraged a very thirst-producing lawn.

  4. Went to the doctor with a friend. The doctor stated my friend must stay away from green leafy vegetables due to meds he is taking. The doctor also said no green tea, black is ok but no green. I stated they are from the same plant why black and no green? Doctor states are they? Well my tea 101 conversation went into effect. What tea should I bring the Doctor on our next visit?

  5. This is an intriguing question jopj.

    I'm not sure what it is you're trying to prove to the doctor, but many Darjeeling teas are classified as black despite the fact that they're not entirely oxidised. Maybe the dark leaves with little flecks of green will help him see the light.

    You could also bring a highly-oxidised Oolong whose leaves are dark brown (nearly black) but when brewed produce a tea which is anything but bitter.

    Though the doctor may not know exactly why black tea is ok while green isn't, I wouldn't be surprised if the chemical properties are quite varied depending on how the tea was processed.

  6. Thanks for your response. Doctor was miseducated on tea properties .When she went online and checked she verified both are not recommended. Not trying to prove anything just a humorous gift.